AP POETRY PROMPTS
AP PROSE PROMPTS
WRITING LESSON : The 11-sentence recipe, or formula, for body paragraphs
The 11- sentence paragraph is like a recipe.
When you use a formula to solve a math problem, if you follow the formula precisely and carefully, you will usually come up with the right answer. When you use a recipe to cook something, if you follow the steps of the recipe exactly, you will almost always produce an acceptable plate of food.
Interestingly, the same is true in writing. If you follow the steps of the 11-sentence formula or recipe, you have an excellent chance of writing a very successful paragraph.
It's really almost as simple as that.
So, here's the formula, or recipe, with example sentences in italics:
Sentence #1: Topic Sentence (TS)
Example TS: Today you will find whatever you are expecting to find.
Sentence #2: 1st Supporting Detail (SD), with transition
Example SD: For example, if you are expecting failure, you will certainly find it.
Sentence #3: Commentary (CM) on the SD
Example CM: If you sit down to write an essay and your mind tells you that you can’t write essays and never could, then you will surely not be able to write an admirable essay.
Sentence #4: Another commentary (CM) on the SD
Example CM: You are waiting for a bad grade on the writing, and therefore you will definitely receive it.
Sentence #5: 2nd Supporting Detail (SD), with transition
Example SD: In addition, if you anticipate that your classmates will not like you, then that is what you will find.
Sentence #6: Commentary (CM) on the 2nd SD
Example CM: Because you expect to be disliked, you will behave in a timid and diffident manner, and of course your friends will turn away from you.
Sentence #7: Another commentary (CM) on the 2nd SD
Example CM: Who wants to be around someone who doesn’t believe in himself or herself?
Sentence #8: 3rd Supporting Detail (SD), with transition
Example SD: Finally, if you expect things to go wrong, that is what will happen.
Sentence #9: Commentary (CM) on 3rd SD
Example CM: If you imagine you will do poorly on a math test, then of course you will do just that.
Sentence #10: Commentary (CM) on 3rd SD
Example CM: If you think you will find a soggy, tasteless sandwich in your lunch, then that’s what will be waiting for you.
Sentence #11: Concluding Sentence (CS)
Example CS: It’s like the old saying: “You get what you ask for.”
Notice that the main part of the paragraph contains three parts, each having an SD and two CMs. We call these parts "chunks". Each 11 sentence paragraph should have three chunks, and each chunk should contain 1 SD and 2 CMs.
DEFINITION: FORMULA FOR CHUNK AND PARAGRAPH
The formula for a chunk is:
CHUNK = 1 SD + 2 CMs
The formula for an entire paragraph is:
PARAGRAPH = TS + 3 CHUNKS (SD + 2 CMs) + CS
Below is the sample 11-sentence paragraph (above) in its entirety:
TS Today you will find whatever you are expecting to find. SD1 For example, if you are expecting failure, you will certainly find it. CM1 If you sit down to write an essay and your mind tells you that you can’t write essays and never could, then you will surely not be able to write an admirable essay. CM2 You are waiting for a bad grade on the writing, and therefore you will definitely receive it. SD2 In addition, if you anticipate that your classmates will not like you, then that is what you will find. CM1 Because you expect to be disliked, you will behave in a timid and diffident manner, and of course your friends will turn away from you. CM2 Who wants to be around someone who doesn’t believe in himself or herself? SD3 Finally, if you expect things to go wrong, that is what will happen. CM1 If you imagine you will do poorly on a math test, then of course you will do just that. CM2 If you think you will find a soggy, tasteless sandwich in your lunch, then that’s what will be waiting for you. CS It’s like the old saying: “You get what you ask for.”
A NOTE ON COMMENTARY SENTENCES: A commentary sentence (CM) is a sentence that offers your comment or opinion about a supporting detail (SD). You could also think of a commentary sentence as one that offers your insight, analysis, interpretation, personal response, feelings, evaluation, or reflections about the supporting detail. A commentary sentence can also simply restate the SD in different words.
WRITING LESSON: IRONY
Resist the impulse to refer to things that are merely coincidental as ironic.
Irony is a complicated notion with an even more complicated history. Those with scholarly inclinations should check out Norman Knox's important book, The Word "Irony" and Its Context, 1500-1755 (Durham: Duke Univ. Press, 1961). Those without such inclinations should at least be aware that things are messy, and that precision is useful.
Irony usually refers to some kind of gap between what's said and what's meant. The simplest form is verbal irony, which in its crudest form is sarcasm. If I start praising the infinitely enlightened administrators who run my university, complimenting them for their inexhaustible wisdom and their clarity of expression, most people will recognize that I'm indulging in verbal irony. (The aforementioned bureaucrats won't, but they're beyond hope.)
Other kinds of irony are more complicated. Dramatic irony is when a speaker isn't aware of the true meaning of what he or she is saying (as when Sophocles' Oedipus vows he wants to punish the sinner who brought the plague on Thebes, unaware that he's talking about himself). Socratic irony describes Socrates' disingenuous pose of ignorance. There are also situational irony, structural irony, and romantic irony. Cosmic irony is perhaps the closest to what most people think of as irony: it's when God or fate seems to be manipulating events so as to inspire false hopes, which are inevitably dashed. Thomas Hardy's novels are filled with it. For all of these kinds of irony, the word ironic is just dandy.
But you shouldn't use it merely to suggest something coincidental or contrary to expectation. "He thought the plan would make him rich, but it turns out he lost all his money" — that's a pity, but it's not really ironic. Ditto "She spent years looking for her high school sweetheart, but he finally called her a week after she married someone else." Again, a damn shame for all involved — but not ironic.
A middle ground — sometimes accepted, sometimes not — is for unexpected things that, in the words of The American Heritage Dictionary, "suggest . . . particular lessons about human vanity or folly." Here's their example, which about three-quarters of their usage panel found kosher:
Ironically, even as the government was fulminating against American policy, American jeans and videocassettes were the hottest items in the stalls of the market.
The idea is that it wasn't merely an unintended consequence; it points up a serious problem of "human inconsistency."
Even though three-quarters of the panel found it acceptable, remember that one in four disagreed. For that reason, it's always safest to use words like coincidental, unexpected, improbable, or paradoxical when they're what you mean, and to reserve ironic for unambiguous cases of irony.
WRITING LESSON: INTERPOLATIONS
Just as you might have to omit something from quoted material with ellipses, you sometimes have to add to a quotation to clarify it. A sentence with only a pronoun like he or she, without the context of the surrounding sentences, might baffle a reader. Or a word or phrase may need explanation — say, a passage in a foreign language.
In these cases, it's traditional to add material in [square brackets]. (Newspapers often use parentheses instead of square brackets, but they're a minority.) Provide an explanation if the author uses something your audience isn't likely to understand — "The first words of Joyce's 'Stately, plump Buck Mulligan' are Introibo ad altare dei ['I will go to the altar of God']." You might need to supply a detail not in the original quotation, especially if your reader is likely to be confused: "As Fairbanks notes, 'The death of three civil rights workers in Philadelphia [Mississippi] marked a turning point.'" You might also provide a first name: "It was [George] Eliot's most successful work." Always the question is whether the clarification will help your audience.
If you're changing a single word or a short phrase, especially a pronoun, and the word isn't especially interesting in its own right, it's okay to omit the original and replace it with the bracketed interpolation: you can change "In that year, after much deliberation, he issued the Emancipation Proclamation" to "In [1862], after much deliberation, [Lincoln] issued the Emancipation Proclamation." If you're hesitant to monkey with words in the original that may be important — and it's wise to be circumspect — just add the bracketed interpolation after the thing you're explaining: "The sixteenth president [Lincoln] abolished slavery."
You can also use brackets around part of a word to indicate necessary changes in its form. So, for instance, you might write, "In his brilliant Guide to Grammar and Style, Lynch provides sage advice on 'us[ing] brackets around part of a word.'"
Some house styles call for brackets to indicate changes of upper- and lowercase letters at the beginning of a quotation: "[L]ike this." I don't like it — it clutters a page — but I don't get to make the call, except in things I edit.
Limit square brackets to quotations of others' words. If you need to clarify something in your own prose, use parentheses (as I do here).
WRITING LESSON: GENERALIZATIONS
Since the beginning of time, man has wrestled with the great questions of the universe. Humans have always sought to understand their place in creation. There is no society on earth that has not attempted to reckon with the human condition.
Balderdash. Generalizations like that are sure to sink your writing, because they almost always fall into one of two classes: the obvious and the wrong.
For starters, how do you know what has happened since the beginning of time? — is your knowledge of early Australopithecus robustus family structure extensive enough to let you compare it to Etruscan social organization? Have you read Incan religious texts alongside Baha'i tracts? Unless you've taken courses in omniscience, I'm guessing the answer's no. In that case, you're saying things you simply don't know, and certainly don't know any better than your audience. So it's either obvious to everyone, or a plain old lie.
Couching vacuous ideas in portentous prose impresses nobody. Simplicity, clarity, and precision will always win over ringing generalizations: don't think everything you write has to settle the mysteries of the ages in expressions worthy of Shakespeare. In the words of one of my favoritest writers in the whole wide world, Calvin Trillin, "When a man has nothing to say, the worst thing he can do is to say it memorably" ("Speak Softly," in Too Soon to Tell [New York: Farrar, Straus and Giroux, 1995], p. 123).
WRITING LESSON: EMPHASIS
There are several ways to draw attention to passages in your writing that deserve special emphasis. I'll start, though, with a few means you should avoid.
First, you should never resort to ALL CAPITALS in formal writing. Bigger Type is also out; likewise boldface. They all come across as amateurish — note how rarely you see them in published prose. Professionals know that they're counterproductive. (Here I'm talking just about the body of text: boldface, caps, and larger type are permissible in section headings and things like that.) And exclamation points have to be used very sparingly.
So what's left? — Italics (or underscore; the two are interchangeable) can draw attention to a word or a short phrase, though even this should be used with some care. Use it when you want to highlight a short passage, but don't resort to it over and over again, or it loses its effect.
The best way to draw attention to particular passages, though, is to construct your sentences to put the important words in the most prominent places. A tip: the strongest position in a sentence is often the end, followed by the beginning. Don't waste the beginning or the end of a sentence — the most important parts — with transitional words like however, additionally, moreover, therefore, and so on. Instead of "However, the paper was finished on time" or "The paper was finished on time, however," save the beginning and end of your sentences for more important stuff like nouns and verbs. Try "The paper, however, was finished on time."
Save the end of the sentence for your most important words.
The important thing to remember is that you should use visual cues sparingly. If you ALWAYS resort to BIG, BOLD, ITALICIZED!!! words, your reader is going to stop paying attention.
WRITING LESSON: ELLIPSES
The ellipsis (plural ellipses) is the mark that indicates the omission of quoted material, as in "Brevity is . . . wit" (stolen shamelessly from an episode of The Simpsons). Note two things: first, most typing manuals and house styles prefer the periods to be spaced, thus:
Brevity is . . . wit.
(In electronic communication it's sometimes convenient, even necessary, to run them together, since line-wrap can be unpredictable.) Second, and more important, is the number of periods. The ellipsis itself is three periods (always); it can appear next to other punctuation, including an end-of-sentence period (resulting in four periods). Use four only when the words on either side of the ellipsis make full sentences. You should never use fewer than three or more than four periods, with only a single exception: when entire lines of poetry are omitted in a block quotation, it's a common practice to replace them with a full line of spaced periods.
One other thing. Although it's a matter of house style, note that it's usually unnecessary to have ellipses at the beginning or end of a quotation; they're essential only when something's omitted in the middle. There's no need for ". . . this . . ." when "this" will do: readers will understand you're not quoting everything the source ever said, and that there will be material before and after the quotation you give. The only time it's advisable is when the bit you're quoting isn't grammatical when it's standing on its own: "When I was a boy . . ." — that sort of thing.
WRITING LESSON: DISINTERESTED VS. UNINTERESTED
The words are often used interchangeably, but traditionalists prefer to keep them separate. Both mean "without interest," but "interest" has several meanings.
Disinterested means "without a stake in" — without a bias, impartial. Uninterested means "indifferent" or "without a care about" — you just don't give a damn.
You can be disinterested in something but not uninterested, and vice versa. For instance, because I'm not a betting man, I don't stand to gain or lose anything in the outcome of most sporting events; I might still enjoy watching a game: I'm disinterested but not uninterested. Conversely, I might not care about the intricacies of tax policies, but I certainly have a stake in the outcome: I'm uninterested but not disinterested.
The words are often used interchangeably, but traditionalists prefer to keep them separate. Both mean "without interest," but "interest" has several meanings.
Disinterested means "without a stake in" — without a bias, impartial. Uninterested means "indifferent" or "without a care about" — you just don't give a damn.
You can be disinterested in something but not uninterested, and vice versa. For instance, because I'm not a betting man, I don't stand to gain or lose anything in the outcome of most sporting events; I might still enjoy watching a game: I'm disinterested but not uninterested. Conversely, I might not care about the intricacies of tax policies, but I certainly have a stake in the outcome: I'm uninterested but not disinterested.
WRITING LESSON: DIRECT AND INDIRECT OBJECTS
A direct object is the thing (or person) acted on by a transitive verb. The indirect object is used most often for the recipient in verbs of giving. Examples are clearer than definitions.
"I took the paper" — the paper is the direct object, because the verb took acts on the paper; the paper is the thing that was taken. "I called her this morning" — her is the direct object, because the verb called acts on her; her is the person who was called.
"I gave him my suggestions" is a bit more complicated. Here him is an indirect object, because him isn't the thing that was given; I gave suggestions, and I gave them to him. Suggestions is the direct object, him the indirect object.
A direct object is the thing (or person) acted on by a transitive verb. The indirect object is used most often for the recipient in verbs of giving. Examples are clearer than definitions.
"I took the paper" — the paper is the direct object, because the verb took acts on the paper; the paper is the thing that was taken. "I called her this morning" — her is the direct object, because the verb called acts on her; her is the person who was called.
"I gave him my suggestions" is a bit more complicated. Here him is an indirect object, because him isn't the thing that was given; I gave suggestions, and I gave them to him. Suggestions is the direct object, him the indirect object.
WRITING LESSON: DICTION
Diction means simply "word choice." English teachers probably mention it most often when there's a problem with the level of diction. The English language sports many near synonyms, groups of which may share more or less the same denotation, but which differ in connotation. And sometimes these connotations can be arranged hierarchically, from high to low. Think of warrior (high diction), soldier (middle), and dogface or grunt (low); or apparel (high), clothes (middle), and duds (low). Higher diction often involves Latinate words, and lower diction Germanic, but not always.
And it's not just a matter of high, middle, and low diction; there are many possible registers — scientific, flowery, bureaucratic, vulgar. The important thing is to be consistent: if you jump at random between levels of diction, you're likely to confuse your audience. And that's a bad thing.
Diction means simply "word choice." English teachers probably mention it most often when there's a problem with the level of diction. The English language sports many near synonyms, groups of which may share more or less the same denotation, but which differ in connotation. And sometimes these connotations can be arranged hierarchically, from high to low. Think of warrior (high diction), soldier (middle), and dogface or grunt (low); or apparel (high), clothes (middle), and duds (low). Higher diction often involves Latinate words, and lower diction Germanic, but not always.
And it's not just a matter of high, middle, and low diction; there are many possible registers — scientific, flowery, bureaucratic, vulgar. The important thing is to be consistent: if you jump at random between levels of diction, you're likely to confuse your audience. And that's a bad thing.
WRITING LESSON: DEPENDENT VS. INDEPENDENT CLAUSE
A clause is just a group of words with a subject and a verb, a part of a sentence. Some groups of words can get by on their own without any help: these are called independent. Others can't stand alone; either they don't have their own subject and verb, or they're subordinated to another part of the sentence: these are dependent. (A hint: dependent clauses often begin with words like if, whether, since, and so on; see Conjunctions.) Knowing the difference can help you figure out when to use commas.
For example: in the sentence "Since we've fallen a week behind, we'll skip the second paper," the first part — "Since we've fallen a week behind" — is dependent, because it can't be a sentence on its own. The second part — "We'll skip the second paper" — does just fine on its own; it's an independent clause. The independent clause can be a sentence without any help from the Since clause.
A clause is just a group of words with a subject and a verb, a part of a sentence. Some groups of words can get by on their own without any help: these are called independent. Others can't stand alone; either they don't have their own subject and verb, or they're subordinated to another part of the sentence: these are dependent. (A hint: dependent clauses often begin with words like if, whether, since, and so on; see Conjunctions.) Knowing the difference can help you figure out when to use commas.
For example: in the sentence "Since we've fallen a week behind, we'll skip the second paper," the first part — "Since we've fallen a week behind" — is dependent, because it can't be a sentence on its own. The second part — "We'll skip the second paper" — does just fine on its own; it's an independent clause. The independent clause can be a sentence without any help from the Since clause.
WRITING LESSON: DENOTATION AND CONNOTATION
A denotation is a word's literal meaning; a connotation is the full range of suggestions and associations that go with it. Dictionaries usually give a word's denotations, but are often less useful in revealing connotations; a good writer, though, will be conscious of the hidden meanings carried by every word. Think, for instance, about the phrases make love, have intercourse, make whoopie, copulate, mate, and a few others I won't mention — they all refer to the same act, but they're not at all interchangeable; when you need to refer to the act, you have to figure out which set of associations will have the desired effect on your audience.
A denotation is a word's literal meaning; a connotation is the full range of suggestions and associations that go with it. Dictionaries usually give a word's denotations, but are often less useful in revealing connotations; a good writer, though, will be conscious of the hidden meanings carried by every word. Think, for instance, about the phrases make love, have intercourse, make whoopie, copulate, mate, and a few others I won't mention — they all refer to the same act, but they're not at all interchangeable; when you need to refer to the act, you have to figure out which set of associations will have the desired effect on your audience.
WRITING LESSON: DASH
A dash (publishers call it an "em-dash" because it's the width of the letter m) is used to mark a parenthesis — like this — or an interruption. Don't confuse it with a Hyphen, although you can use two hyphens -- like this -- for dashes in your papers. (Most word processors have a special symbol for the dash, which you can use if you like; note, though, that it's not always possible in every program, and they don't always come through in E-mail.) Whether dashes should have — spaces — around — them or not—like—this is a question of house style.)
There's nothing wrong with a few dashes here and there, but too many of them will make your writing less formal. Using them where other punctuation marks are proper is okay in informal correspondence, but out of place in most other kinds of writing.
A dash (publishers call it an "em-dash" because it's the width of the letter m) is used to mark a parenthesis — like this — or an interruption. Don't confuse it with a Hyphen, although you can use two hyphens -- like this -- for dashes in your papers. (Most word processors have a special symbol for the dash, which you can use if you like; note, though, that it's not always possible in every program, and they don't always come through in E-mail.) Whether dashes should have — spaces — around — them or not—like—this is a question of house style.)
There's nothing wrong with a few dashes here and there, but too many of them will make your writing less formal. Using them where other punctuation marks are proper is okay in informal correspondence, but out of place in most other kinds of writing.
WRITING LESSON: CONCRETE LANGUAGE
Use specific, concrete words instead of vague, general ones wherever possible: instead of "apparent significant financial gains," use "a lot of money" or "large profits." Instead of "Job suffers a series of unfavorable experiences," use "Job's family is killed and his possessions are destroyed." Be precise.
Use specific, concrete words instead of vague, general ones wherever possible: instead of "apparent significant financial gains," use "a lot of money" or "large profits." Instead of "Job suffers a series of unfavorable experiences," use "Job's family is killed and his possessions are destroyed." Be precise.
WRITING LESSON: COMMA SPLICE
A comma splice is probably the most widespread variety of run-on sentence: it's where two independent clauses are stuck together with just a comma. You usually need some better way to attach them to one another: use a period or a semicolon in place of the comma; use a coordinating conjunction like and or or; or use a subordinating conjunction like because or although.
A comma splice is probably the most widespread variety of run-on sentence: it's where two independent clauses are stuck together with just a comma. You usually need some better way to attach them to one another: use a period or a semicolon in place of the comma; use a coordinating conjunction like and or or; or use a subordinating conjunction like because or although.
WRITING LESSON: CLICHÉS
Clichés offer prefabricated phrasing that may be used without effort on your part. They are thus used at the expense of both individuality and precision, since you can't say just what you mean in the mechanical response of a cliché. George Orwell's advice is overstated for effect, but it's still good to bear it in mind: "Never use a metaphor, simile, or other figure of speech which you are used to seeing in print." If you're depending on a stock phrase, you're letting someone else do half your thinking for you.
A comprehensive catalogue of clichés is beyond me, but here's a list of the more egregious ones that get under my skin:
absolutely;
any way, shape, or form;
at the end of the day;
the blame game;
feel (for think, believe, etc.);
hot-button issue;
massive or massively;
playing the race card;
sending a message;
99% for anything just shy of complete; 110% effort.
They're not clever, they're not funny, they're not memorable, they're not convincing. They're prefab strips of language, hastily tacked together, and they do you no good.
If you must resort to clichés, though, be especially careful not to muddle them. Remember, for example, that the more widely accepted phrase is "I couldn't care less," not could: the idea is that "It would be impossible to care about this subject any less than I already do." And a U.S. Senator, trying to reassure his constituents that the budget talks were going well in spite of the apparent chaos, told reporters, "It's always darkest before the storm," rather than "before the dawn" — he thereby unintentionally suggested that things are going to get worse, not better. Pay attention to every word.
Don't, by the way, confuse these mangled clichés with mixed metaphors — though a mixed metaphor might result from a botched cliché, they're not the same thing.
Neither should you confuse clichés in general with idioms, the natural way to say something. The desire to avoid clichés shouldn't make your language oddball. Learning to tell the difference between the two is an important skill, and one you can develop only over time.
Clichés offer prefabricated phrasing that may be used without effort on your part. They are thus used at the expense of both individuality and precision, since you can't say just what you mean in the mechanical response of a cliché. George Orwell's advice is overstated for effect, but it's still good to bear it in mind: "Never use a metaphor, simile, or other figure of speech which you are used to seeing in print." If you're depending on a stock phrase, you're letting someone else do half your thinking for you.
A comprehensive catalogue of clichés is beyond me, but here's a list of the more egregious ones that get under my skin:
absolutely;
any way, shape, or form;
at the end of the day;
the blame game;
feel (for think, believe, etc.);
hot-button issue;
massive or massively;
playing the race card;
sending a message;
99% for anything just shy of complete; 110% effort.
They're not clever, they're not funny, they're not memorable, they're not convincing. They're prefab strips of language, hastily tacked together, and they do you no good.
If you must resort to clichés, though, be especially careful not to muddle them. Remember, for example, that the more widely accepted phrase is "I couldn't care less," not could: the idea is that "It would be impossible to care about this subject any less than I already do." And a U.S. Senator, trying to reassure his constituents that the budget talks were going well in spite of the apparent chaos, told reporters, "It's always darkest before the storm," rather than "before the dawn" — he thereby unintentionally suggested that things are going to get worse, not better. Pay attention to every word.
Don't, by the way, confuse these mangled clichés with mixed metaphors — though a mixed metaphor might result from a botched cliché, they're not the same thing.
Neither should you confuse clichés in general with idioms, the natural way to say something. The desire to avoid clichés shouldn't make your language oddball. Learning to tell the difference between the two is an important skill, and one you can develop only over time.
WRITING LESSON: CLEARLY, OBVIOUSLY, UNDOUBTEDLY
My English professor instincts kick in — my Spidey-Sense starts tingling — whenever I see these words. Too often they're used when something is unclear and doubtful, but the author simply doesn't know how to make the point convincingly. Clumsy writers want to make an argument but don't know how to bridge some conceptual gap. Instead of painstakingly working out the logic, they simply state their conclusion with an obviously (when it's not at all obvious).
There's nothing inherently wrong with the words, but be sure you use them honestly.
My English professor instincts kick in — my Spidey-Sense starts tingling — whenever I see these words. Too often they're used when something is unclear and doubtful, but the author simply doesn't know how to make the point convincingly. Clumsy writers want to make an argument but don't know how to bridge some conceptual gap. Instead of painstakingly working out the logic, they simply state their conclusion with an obviously (when it's not at all obvious).
There's nothing inherently wrong with the words, but be sure you use them honestly.
WRITING LESSON: Cf.
Cf. is an abbreviation of the Latin word confer, which means "compare." It's often used in footnotes and other citations — something like "Cf. p. 227" or "Cf. Tom Sawyer, chap. 2" — to say "Compare the passage I've just discussed with another one." It's not exactly the same as "see also," but it's similar.
Cf. is an abbreviation of the Latin word confer, which means "compare." It's often used in footnotes and other citations — something like "Cf. p. 227" or "Cf. Tom Sawyer, chap. 2" — to say "Compare the passage I've just discussed with another one." It's not exactly the same as "see also," but it's similar.
WRITING LESSON: BLUNTNESS
Bad writing is often wimpy writing. Don't be afraid to be blunt. Consider things like "There appear to be indications that the product heretofore referred to may be lacking substantial qualitative consummation, suggesting it may be incommensurate with the standards previously established by this department": what's wrong with "It's bad" or "It doesn't work"? Of course you should be sensitive to your reader's feelings — there's no need to be vicious or crude, and saying "It sucks" won't win you many friends — but don't go too far in the opposite direction. Call 'em as you see 'em.
Bad writing is often wimpy writing. Don't be afraid to be blunt. Consider things like "There appear to be indications that the product heretofore referred to may be lacking substantial qualitative consummation, suggesting it may be incommensurate with the standards previously established by this department": what's wrong with "It's bad" or "It doesn't work"? Of course you should be sensitive to your reader's feelings — there's no need to be vicious or crude, and saying "It sucks" won't win you many friends — but don't go too far in the opposite direction. Call 'em as you see 'em.
WRITING LESSON: AUDIENCE
The key to all good writing is understanding your audience. Every time you use language, you engage in a rhetorical activity, and your attention should always be on the effect it will have on your audience.
Think of grammar and style as analogous to, say, table manners. Grammatical "rules" have no absolute, independent existence; there is no Grammar Corps to track you down for using "whose" when "of which" is more proper, just as Miss Manners employs no shock troops to massacre people who eat their salads with fish forks. You can argue, of course, that the other fork works just as well (or even better), but both the fork and the usage are entirely arbitrary and conventional. Your job as a writer is to have certain effects on your readers, readers who are continuously judging you, consciously or unconsciously. If you want to have the greatest effect, you'll adjust your style to suit the audience, however arbitrary its expectations.
A better analogue might be clothing. A high school English paper calls for the rough equivalent of the jacket and tie (ladies, you're on your own here). However useless or ridiculous the tie may be, however outdated its practical value as a garment, certain social situations demand it, and if you go into a job interview wearing a T-shirt and jeans, you only hurt yourself by arguing that the necktie has no sartorial validity. Your job is to figure out what your audience expects. Likewise, if your audience wants you to avoid ending your sentences with prepositions, no amount of argument over historical validity will help.
But just as you shouldn't go under-dressed to a job interview, you shouldn't over-dress either. A white tie and tails will make you look ridiculous at a barbecue, and a pedantic insistence on grammatical bugbears will only lessen your audience's respect for you. There are occasions when ain't is more suitable than is not, and the careful writer will take the time to discover which is the more appropriate. (Lynch)
WRITING LESSON: APOSTROPHE
The most common way to form a possessive in English is with apostrophe and s: "a hard day's night." After a plural noun ending in s, put just an apostrophe: "two hours' work" (i.e., "the work of two hours"). If a plural doesn't end in s — children, men, people — plain old apostrophe-s: "children's," "men's," "people's." It's never "mens'" or "childrens'."
There's also the opposite case: when a singular noun ends in s. That's a little trickier. Most style guides prefer s's: James's house. Plain old s-apostrophe (as in James' house) is common in journalism, but most other publishers prefer James's. It's a matter of house style.
Note that, with the exception of the little-used one, the possessives of pronouns never get apostrophes: theirs, not their's; hers, not her's; its, not it's. See It's versus Its.
Apostrophes are sometimes used to make acronyms or other abbreviations plural (another matter of a local house style). My preference: don't use apostrophes to make abbreviations plural — not "They took their SAT's," but "They took their SATs." The only exception is when having no apostrophe might be confusing: "Two As" is ambiguous (it might be read as the word as); make it "Two A's." Never use apostrophes as single quotation marks to set off words or phrases (unless you need a quotation within a quotation). (Lynch)
WRITING LESSON: ANTECEDENT
A technical term in grammar for the word or phrase to which a relative pronoun refers. In a sentence like "She couldn't stand opera, which always sounded like shrieking," the relative pronoun which stands in for the word opera, so opera is the antecedent. In a sentence like "He couldn't say the word titillate without giggling, which always got him in trouble," the word which refers back not to any individual word, but to the whole preceding clause ("He couldn't say the word titillate without giggling") — the whole thing is the antecedent.
By the way, it's pronounced ant-uh-SEE-dent. (Lynch)
USAGE LESSON: AFFECT vs. EFFECT
An easily confused pair. Affect with an a is usually a verb; effect with an e is (usually) a noun. When you affect something, you have an effect on it. The usual adjective is effective, which means "having the right effect," or "getting the job done" — an effective medicine, for instance. (It can also mean "in effect," as in "the new policy is effective immediately.")
If the usuals leave you curious, here's the rest of the story: affective as an adjective means "relating to or arousing an emotional reaction"; effect as a verb means "to bring about" or "to accomplish," as in "to effect a change." There's also the noun affect, usually used in psychology, meaning "an emotion" or "feeling." (Lynch)
WRITING LESSON: OBFUSCATION
Don't use long words where short ones will do; it makes your writing dense and difficult to understand. Words ending in -ality, -ation, -ize, -ization, -ational, and so forth are often guilty of making sentences more complex than they need to be. Ask yourself if these suffixes can be removed without damaging the sense: if you can use a shorter form, you probably should; if you can take a big scary noun and make it a punchy and powerful verb, you probably should. For instance, "The chairman brought about the organization of the conference" can stand to trade that "brought about the organization of" for "organized" — "The chairman organized the conference." Much better. (Lynch)
WRITING LESSON: Semicolons
* to join two independent clauses
Use a semicolon to join two or more closely related independent clauses that are not connected with a coordinating conjunction. (Remember: independent clauses can stand along as separate sentences.)
a. I did not call myself a poet; I told people I wrote poems.
b. Silence coated the room like a layer of tar; not even the breathing of the jury made any sound.
* with conjunctive adverbs
A semicolon is used before a conjunctive adverb (and a comma after it) when the word connects two independent clauses in a compound sentence. (Common conjunctive adverbs are:
also, besides, finally, however, indeed, instead, meanwhile, moreover, nevertheless, next, still, then, and therefore. Note: These are also known as "transitions".)
a. I am faced with imminent death; therefore, life is becoming a very precious thing.
b. We first climbed to the summit of Carter Notch; next, we climbed Carter Dome and sprawled in exhaustion at the top.
WRITING LESSON: Commas
In writing, a "convention" is a rule that has been generally agreed upon by most writers and teachers. Most of the important conventions in writing have to do with punctuation.
* with coordinate conjunctions and, but, or, nor, for, so, yet
1. Separate independent clauses within a sentence.
a. Julia counsels students, and she volunteers at a Rotty shelter.
b. Joseph planned to invest his birthday gift, but he bought a grammar book instead.
c. I don't smoke, nor do I sit near people who are smoking.
d. I haven't seen the new house, yet I know how to get there.
2. Do not use commas before conjunctions that only link phrases.
a. Maddy counsels students and delivers meals to handicapped senior citizens.
b. Two inches of snow and a glazing of ice covered the streets.
* with introductory elements
1. Use commas to separate elements that introduce (or start) sentences.
a. After looking at several cars, Asia decided on a sporty model.
2. The comma can be omitted after short introductory elements, if there is no risk of misreading.
* Addresses and place names
a. Mr. Salsich lives at 20 Granite Street, #8, Westerly, RI 02891 (Notice there is no comma before the zip code.)
* Quotations
Commas ordinarily separate a quotation from its source, such as he said or she stated.
a. Lily said, "Pleeeeeeeease don't give us any homework tonight, Mr. Salsich."
b. "Sometimes love is stronger than a man's convictions," wrote Isaac Bashevis Singer.
c. "I never forget a face," said Morgan, "but in your case, I'll make an exception."
* Do not use a comma with identifying words that interrupt main clauses in a quotation.
a. "Don't speak to me," Julia sighed. "Your words are meaningless."
* Parenthetical expressions (phrases that interrupt the flow of the sentence)
a. Asia's latest essay, in my opinion, is a winner.
b. Jiseph's shirt, by the way, is very cool.
* Interjections
a. Yikes, I hate that stupid movie!
* with adjectives
1. Coordinate adjectives (they modify nouns separately)
a. We felt the salty, humid air near the beach.
b. Madeline created a three-tiered, white, flower- covered birthday cake for her best friend.
2. Cumulative adjectives (they modify nouns together)
a. Lily bought two tall ice-cream cones.
b. Morgan found a shard from an ancient Greek urn.
* with nonrestrictive phrases and appositives
1. Nonrestrictive elements (They can be eliminated without changing the meaning of the sentence.)
a. Mr. Geise's new aquarium, a marine tank, hosts brilliant coral and a brightly colored fish.
b. The woman, who happened to be wearing a brightly decorated hat, told him how to get to the station.
(The words in italics are not absolutely necessary to the meaning of the sentence; therefore, they are called nonrestrictive, and should be separated from the rest of the sentence by comma
READING LESSON : Annotating a Book
Instructions for Annotating a Text:
Annotate – v. To furnish (a literary work) with critical commentary or explanatory notes [
For the sake of standardization of annotating for class and for grading purposes, your annotations should follow this format:
Inside Front Cover: Character list with small space for character summary and for page references for key scenes, moments of character development, etc.
Inside Back Cover: Themes, motifs, key scenes, plot line, epiphanies, etc. List and add page references and/or notes as you read.
Additional Markings:
Page Summaries: At the bottom of each page, write a brief summary, in note form, of what happened on that page. This should be done quickly but carefully. A page summary should take no more than 10 seconds.
Chapter summaries/titles: At the end of each chapter, write a brief summary of the plot at it occurred in that chapter. This does not have to be long or greatly detailed, but should include all relevant incidents. Supply an interesting title for each chapter of the book. This may prove useful even for books in which chapters are already titled. This practice will help you solidify your understanding of a chapter in just a few of your own words.
Underline: Within the text of the book, as you read or after you finish a night’s reading. underline or otherwise note anything that strikes you as important, significant, or memorable. If possible and profitable, write brief comments within the side margins that indicate your motivation in underlining. Focus on essential stylistic devices (diction, syntax, imagery, literary devices, tone) and elements of literature (plot, setting, characterization, point of view and theme). Often, I underline isolated words and phrases. Occasionally, I connect such underlinings with a line, in essence creating a new sentence, a distillation of ideas or meaning.
Brackets: Use brackets, as you read, together with abbreviations and symbols to indicate passages (too long to underline) that contain important themes, wonderfully nuanced descriptions, especially delightful phrasing and/or syntax, provocative assertions, and figurative language. And, of course, write comments and analytical snippets to clarify your thinking.
Vocabulary/unusual diction: Within the text of the book, circle words that are unfamiliar to you or whose use strikes you as unusual or inventive. Each night, try to look up in a dictionary at least one word that seem essential to an understanding of the meaning or the sense of the author. If it helps to do so, jot a brief definition or synonym nearby.
Questions: Actively engage the text and further confirm your understanding of each chapter by writing at least two open-ended questions for each. Short essay questions are most useful. If you have time, you may profit, however, from writing multiple choice, fill in the blank, matching, and true/false questions as well.
Instructions for Annotating a Text:
Annotate – v. To furnish (a literary work) with critical commentary or explanatory notes [
For the sake of standardization of annotating for class and for grading purposes, your annotations should follow this format:
Inside Front Cover: Character list with small space for character summary and for page references for key scenes, moments of character development, etc.
Inside Back Cover: Themes, motifs, key scenes, plot line, epiphanies, etc. List and add page references and/or notes as you read.
Additional Markings:
Page Summaries: At the bottom of each page, write a brief summary, in note form, of what happened on that page. This should be done quickly but carefully. A page summary should take no more than 10 seconds.
Chapter summaries/titles: At the end of each chapter, write a brief summary of the plot at it occurred in that chapter. This does not have to be long or greatly detailed, but should include all relevant incidents. Supply an interesting title for each chapter of the book. This may prove useful even for books in which chapters are already titled. This practice will help you solidify your understanding of a chapter in just a few of your own words.
Underline: Within the text of the book, as you read or after you finish a night’s reading. underline or otherwise note anything that strikes you as important, significant, or memorable. If possible and profitable, write brief comments within the side margins that indicate your motivation in underlining. Focus on essential stylistic devices (diction, syntax, imagery, literary devices, tone) and elements of literature (plot, setting, characterization, point of view and theme). Often, I underline isolated words and phrases. Occasionally, I connect such underlinings with a line, in essence creating a new sentence, a distillation of ideas or meaning.
Brackets: Use brackets, as you read, together with abbreviations and symbols to indicate passages (too long to underline) that contain important themes, wonderfully nuanced descriptions, especially delightful phrasing and/or syntax, provocative assertions, and figurative language. And, of course, write comments and analytical snippets to clarify your thinking.
Vocabulary/unusual diction: Within the text of the book, circle words that are unfamiliar to you or whose use strikes you as unusual or inventive. Each night, try to look up in a dictionary at least one word that seem essential to an understanding of the meaning or the sense of the author. If it helps to do so, jot a brief definition or synonym nearby.
Questions: Actively engage the text and further confirm your understanding of each chapter by writing at least two open-ended questions for each. Short essay questions are most useful. If you have time, you may profit, however, from writing multiple choice, fill in the blank, matching, and true/false questions as well.
READING LESSON: Reading and Climbing Mountains
TS I have often discussed with my students the analogy between reading a challenging work of literature and climbing a high mountain trail. SD First of all, both require a great effort. CM No one would deny that strenuous labor is required to get through and comprehend a play by Shakespeare or one of Dickens’ thorny novels, and the same is true of climbing a trail in the White Mountains. CM If someone asked a reader who was in the middle of Dickens’ Little Dorrit whether reading it was a “fun” experience, the answer would probably be somewhat negative, just as a hiker halfway up a an almost vertical trail in New Hampshire might not be bubbling over with delight, either. SD The second similarity is that both serious reading and serious hiking require extreme concentration. CM If you daydream and dawdle while reading a Shakespeare play, you’re simply not going to get it, and if your mind wanders while climbing the trail to Carter Dome, you may find yourself with a sprained ankle, or worse. CM Both Macbeth and the Carter Notch Trail demand intense, unremitting focus if we plan to be successful readers or hikers. SD As a final point, reading literature and climbing steep trails both make use of delayed gratification – meaning many of the best rewards are put off until near the end. CM As we get into the final third of Dickens’ A Tale of Two Cities, we often begin to catch glimpses of the overall power of the book, just as we may begin to feel proud of our accomplishment as we approach the summit of a mountain. CM I guess my point might be this: If you want instant rewards, read easy books and stay on flat trails. CS To use an old saying, “no pain, no gain” is true for both great books and great mountains.
TS I have often discussed with my students the analogy between reading a challenging work of literature and climbing a high mountain trail. SD First of all, both require a great effort. CM No one would deny that strenuous labor is required to get through and comprehend a play by Shakespeare or one of Dickens’ thorny novels, and the same is true of climbing a trail in the White Mountains. CM If someone asked a reader who was in the middle of Dickens’ Little Dorrit whether reading it was a “fun” experience, the answer would probably be somewhat negative, just as a hiker halfway up a an almost vertical trail in New Hampshire might not be bubbling over with delight, either. SD The second similarity is that both serious reading and serious hiking require extreme concentration. CM If you daydream and dawdle while reading a Shakespeare play, you’re simply not going to get it, and if your mind wanders while climbing the trail to Carter Dome, you may find yourself with a sprained ankle, or worse. CM Both Macbeth and the Carter Notch Trail demand intense, unremitting focus if we plan to be successful readers or hikers. SD As a final point, reading literature and climbing steep trails both make use of delayed gratification – meaning many of the best rewards are put off until near the end. CM As we get into the final third of Dickens’ A Tale of Two Cities, we often begin to catch glimpses of the overall power of the book, just as we may begin to feel proud of our accomplishment as we approach the summit of a mountain. CM I guess my point might be this: If you want instant rewards, read easy books and stay on flat trails. CS To use an old saying, “no pain, no gain” is true for both great books and great mountains.
READING LESSON: Reading and Watching Hawks
TS Today, for several reasons, we had only a short time for silent reading in the 8th grade – actually about 2 minutes – but, looking back, I think I used the time well. SD One of the important things I have learned, and continue to learn, about reading is that reading slowly and carefully can be a rewarding exercise. CM Once I abandoned my focus, several years ago, on rushing through books and began to slow down and enjoy the words and thoughts in the book, I found a new way of reading opening up to me. CM I began to enjoy the “journey” as much as the “destination”. CM I found myself lingering over passages, even single sentences, rereading them several times in order to extract as much of the meaning and beauty as possible. SD This approach to reading means, of course, that even reading for only two minutes can be pleasing and satisfying. CM If the goal is not to “read as much possible” but to “read as well as possible”, then two minutes of reading can be as rewarding as watching a hawk soaring for two minutes. CM Surely we wouldn’t say that that was a waste of time. CM Even two minutes in the presence of a glorious creature like a hawk can be inspiring – and I think the same can be said of a book. SD Today, for just a few minutes, I read a page or two of a novel by Thomas Hardy, and I was enthralled by the beauty of the language. CM I felt relaxed and unhurried as I read the words slowly and carefully. CM Because I was not rushing, I was able to take away a surprising amount of treasure from those few pages. CS Later, I recalled a time when I caught a fleeting glimpse of a hawk sailing above a field. It was a splendid and unforgettable few moments for me, but no more so than the two minutes I spent reading silently with my students today.
TS Today, for several reasons, we had only a short time for silent reading in the 8th grade – actually about 2 minutes – but, looking back, I think I used the time well. SD One of the important things I have learned, and continue to learn, about reading is that reading slowly and carefully can be a rewarding exercise. CM Once I abandoned my focus, several years ago, on rushing through books and began to slow down and enjoy the words and thoughts in the book, I found a new way of reading opening up to me. CM I began to enjoy the “journey” as much as the “destination”. CM I found myself lingering over passages, even single sentences, rereading them several times in order to extract as much of the meaning and beauty as possible. SD This approach to reading means, of course, that even reading for only two minutes can be pleasing and satisfying. CM If the goal is not to “read as much possible” but to “read as well as possible”, then two minutes of reading can be as rewarding as watching a hawk soaring for two minutes. CM Surely we wouldn’t say that that was a waste of time. CM Even two minutes in the presence of a glorious creature like a hawk can be inspiring – and I think the same can be said of a book. SD Today, for just a few minutes, I read a page or two of a novel by Thomas Hardy, and I was enthralled by the beauty of the language. CM I felt relaxed and unhurried as I read the words slowly and carefully. CM Because I was not rushing, I was able to take away a surprising amount of treasure from those few pages. CS Later, I recalled a time when I caught a fleeting glimpse of a hawk sailing above a field. It was a splendid and unforgettable few moments for me, but no more so than the two minutes I spent reading silently with my students today.
READING LESSON: Beautiful Islands, Beautiful Books
TS No one rushes through a visit to a beautiful island, and yet many people insist on rushing through beautiful books. SD They dash through the chapters (even sometimes skipping parts), almost as though they can’t wait to get to the end. (Strange…why would they want to reach the end of a wonderful experience?) CM They rarely re-read a page (never a whole chapter), and probably wouldn’t consider taking notes. CM It's almost as if they want to get through the book as quickly as possible just so they can rush on to the next one. SD On the other hand, were these people to visit a picturesque island, I'm sure they would want to enjoy the delights of the place in a slow and thoughtful manner. CM There would be no dashing, no skimming quickly through experiences, no hurrying along to get to the end of the visit. CM Indeed, they would probably find pleasure in revisiting parts of the island, perhaps several times during one trip, in order to enjoy their attractions more thoroughly. CM And of course part of their appreciation of the island would include pausing frequently to take pictures so they could fondly look back on the visit months and years later. SD Similarly, what I hope to do for you this year is convince you that a beautiful book should be “visited” in much the same way that we visit a beautiful island. CM I hope to show you how to take your time as you explore the wonders of each chapter, how to revisit pages and sections in order to uncover more of their beauties, and how to take assiduous notes to serve as a “photographic” record of your reading. CM A beautiful book has at least as many wonders as a beautiful island, and I want to help you learn to appreciate them in a leisurely and attentive manner. CS In the future, when you think of starting a reading project, I would hope you might say, “I think I’ll re-visit a beautiful book I first read in Mr. Salsich's class.”
TS No one rushes through a visit to a beautiful island, and yet many people insist on rushing through beautiful books. SD They dash through the chapters (even sometimes skipping parts), almost as though they can’t wait to get to the end. (Strange…why would they want to reach the end of a wonderful experience?) CM They rarely re-read a page (never a whole chapter), and probably wouldn’t consider taking notes. CM It's almost as if they want to get through the book as quickly as possible just so they can rush on to the next one. SD On the other hand, were these people to visit a picturesque island, I'm sure they would want to enjoy the delights of the place in a slow and thoughtful manner. CM There would be no dashing, no skimming quickly through experiences, no hurrying along to get to the end of the visit. CM Indeed, they would probably find pleasure in revisiting parts of the island, perhaps several times during one trip, in order to enjoy their attractions more thoroughly. CM And of course part of their appreciation of the island would include pausing frequently to take pictures so they could fondly look back on the visit months and years later. SD Similarly, what I hope to do for you this year is convince you that a beautiful book should be “visited” in much the same way that we visit a beautiful island. CM I hope to show you how to take your time as you explore the wonders of each chapter, how to revisit pages and sections in order to uncover more of their beauties, and how to take assiduous notes to serve as a “photographic” record of your reading. CM A beautiful book has at least as many wonders as a beautiful island, and I want to help you learn to appreciate them in a leisurely and attentive manner. CS In the future, when you think of starting a reading project, I would hope you might say, “I think I’ll re-visit a beautiful book I first read in Mr. Salsich's class.”
READING LESSON: The Difference between Liking a Book and Appreciating a Book.
TS In English class, I care more about whether you can learn to appreciate the books we read, than whether you like them. SD Let me use an analogy and compare reading to skateboarding. CM I don't like to skateboard (Yikes! I'd kill myself!), and I don't even especially like to watch it on television. CM However, when I do watch a serious skateboarder, especially when I'm with someone who can explain the complexity of the movements, I quickly begin to appreciate the skill and artistry in what I'm seeing. CM If someone asked me if I liked watching the skateboarding, I would probably answer no but that I did learn to appreciate the creativity and originality of the sport. SD Similarly, in English class , I hope you develop the habit of asking yourself not whether you are enjoying the book, but whether you are appreciating it. CM Take another analogy, between reading and rock music. CM I do not like listening to most rock music, but when someone explains to me the creativity involved in putting a good rock song together, I can begin to appreciate it. CM I may not love listening to a particular band, but with the help of an expert, I can learn to appreciate what they are doing in their music. SD The same, I hope, will be true in English class. CM Try your best to not use the word "like" when discussing your reactions to a book, story, play, or poem. CM Try to replace it with words like "appreciate", "understand", and "recognize the value or quality of". CS If you can do this, you will be well on your way to becoming a serious, intelligent, and sophisticated reader.
TS In English class, I care more about whether you can learn to appreciate the books we read, than whether you like them. SD Let me use an analogy and compare reading to skateboarding. CM I don't like to skateboard (Yikes! I'd kill myself!), and I don't even especially like to watch it on television. CM However, when I do watch a serious skateboarder, especially when I'm with someone who can explain the complexity of the movements, I quickly begin to appreciate the skill and artistry in what I'm seeing. CM If someone asked me if I liked watching the skateboarding, I would probably answer no but that I did learn to appreciate the creativity and originality of the sport. SD Similarly, in English class , I hope you develop the habit of asking yourself not whether you are enjoying the book, but whether you are appreciating it. CM Take another analogy, between reading and rock music. CM I do not like listening to most rock music, but when someone explains to me the creativity involved in putting a good rock song together, I can begin to appreciate it. CM I may not love listening to a particular band, but with the help of an expert, I can learn to appreciate what they are doing in their music. SD The same, I hope, will be true in English class. CM Try your best to not use the word "like" when discussing your reactions to a book, story, play, or poem. CM Try to replace it with words like "appreciate", "understand", and "recognize the value or quality of". CS If you can do this, you will be well on your way to becoming a serious, intelligent, and sophisticated reader.
READING LESSON: Relaxing Reading and Serious Reading
TS I think it's important to realize that there are two distinctly different kinds of reading, just as, for example, there are two distinctly different kinds of soccer or field hockey. SD In soccer or field hockey, you can play the games strictly for fun, or you can play them because you want to become the best player you can possibly be. CM You can practice in a playful, relaxed way on the weekends, or you can practice in total earnestness whenever possible. CM You can take the sports lightly, or you can take them seriously. SD The same is true of reading. CM I often love to read purely for fun, but I also love to occasionally tackle a book that forces me to focus my mind and mentally challenge myself. CM In my life, there's room for both reading an easy book on a breezy beach and reading a multifaceted, weighty book while sitting up straight at my desk. SD In English class, we will be doing the second kind of reading -- what I call "serious reading". CM You might ask Why? to which I would answer that it's my responsibility as your English teacher. CM You don't need my help to read a relaxing book, but you might need my help in working through a serious book like Julius Caesar or To Kill a Mockingbird.. CS I sometimes love doing light, effortless reading, just as I sometimes love riding my bike in a laid-back way, but English class is the place for engaging in strenuous reading, like riding up the steepest and longest hills I can find.
TS I think it's important to realize that there are two distinctly different kinds of reading, just as, for example, there are two distinctly different kinds of soccer or field hockey. SD In soccer or field hockey, you can play the games strictly for fun, or you can play them because you want to become the best player you can possibly be. CM You can practice in a playful, relaxed way on the weekends, or you can practice in total earnestness whenever possible. CM You can take the sports lightly, or you can take them seriously. SD The same is true of reading. CM I often love to read purely for fun, but I also love to occasionally tackle a book that forces me to focus my mind and mentally challenge myself. CM In my life, there's room for both reading an easy book on a breezy beach and reading a multifaceted, weighty book while sitting up straight at my desk. SD In English class, we will be doing the second kind of reading -- what I call "serious reading". CM You might ask Why? to which I would answer that it's my responsibility as your English teacher. CM You don't need my help to read a relaxing book, but you might need my help in working through a serious book like Julius Caesar or To Kill a Mockingbird.. CS I sometimes love doing light, effortless reading, just as I sometimes love riding my bike in a laid-back way, but English class is the place for engaging in strenuous reading, like riding up the steepest and longest hills I can find.
WRITING LESSON: Writing on Demand -- Questions to Ask Yourself about Images
When you are given an image (a picture) and asked to write about it, consider these questions as you plan your response. Be sure to think quickly but carefully – in other words, efficiently.
1. What setting do you see? Describe the time and place of the setting. What can you “smell”, “touch”, and “hear” in this setting?
2. What characters do you see? Describe the characters. How are they feeling? What names might fit them?
3. What is the relationship between the characters?
4. What is the predominant mood of the picture?
5. What is the conflict in the picture? Can you imagine a conflict that just happened, or that will happen soon?
When you are given an image (a picture) and asked to write about it, consider these questions as you plan your response. Be sure to think quickly but carefully – in other words, efficiently.
1. What setting do you see? Describe the time and place of the setting. What can you “smell”, “touch”, and “hear” in this setting?
2. What characters do you see? Describe the characters. How are they feeling? What names might fit them?
3. What is the relationship between the characters?
4. What is the predominant mood of the picture?
5. What is the conflict in the picture? Can you imagine a conflict that just happened, or that will happen soon?
WRITING LESSON: Writing on Demand -- Five Prompt Analysis Questions
When you are given a prompt to write about, consider these questions in an efficient manner – quickly but carefully:
1. What is the central claim or topic called for?
Do I have choices to make with regard to this claim or topic? Will I need to focus the
claim or topic in order to write a good essay? What arguments can I make for this
claim? What do I know about this topic?
2. Who is the intended audience?
If named specifically, what do I know about this particular audience? If the audience
is implied or not identified, what can I infer about it? In either event, how might the
expectations of this audience affect my choices as a writer?
3. What is the purpose or mode for the writing task?
Is the purpose stated or must it be inferred? What is this writing supposed to accomplish
(besides fulfilling the demands of the prompt or assignment)?What does the
goal of this writing suggest about the mode (narration, exposition, description, argument)
or combination of modes that I should consider in responding?
4. What strategies will be most effective?
What does the purpose or mode suggest about possible strategies? Of the strategies
I am comfortable using—like examples, definitions, analysis, classification, cause and
effect, compare and contrast—which will be most effective here? Are there any strategies,
such as number of examples or type of support, that are specified as required?
5. What is my role as a writer in achieving the purpose?
Have I been assigned a specific role, like applicant or representative? If I have not been
assigned a specific role, what does the prompt or assignment tell me about the level
of expertise I should demonstrate, the stance I should assume, or the approach I
should take?
When you are given a prompt to write about, consider these questions in an efficient manner – quickly but carefully:
1. What is the central claim or topic called for?
Do I have choices to make with regard to this claim or topic? Will I need to focus the
claim or topic in order to write a good essay? What arguments can I make for this
claim? What do I know about this topic?
2. Who is the intended audience?
If named specifically, what do I know about this particular audience? If the audience
is implied or not identified, what can I infer about it? In either event, how might the
expectations of this audience affect my choices as a writer?
3. What is the purpose or mode for the writing task?
Is the purpose stated or must it be inferred? What is this writing supposed to accomplish
(besides fulfilling the demands of the prompt or assignment)?What does the
goal of this writing suggest about the mode (narration, exposition, description, argument)
or combination of modes that I should consider in responding?
4. What strategies will be most effective?
What does the purpose or mode suggest about possible strategies? Of the strategies
I am comfortable using—like examples, definitions, analysis, classification, cause and
effect, compare and contrast—which will be most effective here? Are there any strategies,
such as number of examples or type of support, that are specified as required?
5. What is my role as a writer in achieving the purpose?
Have I been assigned a specific role, like applicant or representative? If I have not been
assigned a specific role, what does the prompt or assignment tell me about the level
of expertise I should demonstrate, the stance I should assume, or the approach I
should take?
WRITING LESSON: Final Suggestions For Polishing Your Writing
Re-read each sentence very slowly. You may need to re-read some sentences several times.
As you re-read, look for
1) comma and period problems,
2) fragments,
3) anything that might be confusing,
4) possible spelling problems,
5) clear transitions between sentences, chunks, and paragraphs,
6) dull words that could be replaced with FAST words,
7) lack of variety in sentence lengths,
8) and dull sections that could be helped by using some tools for adding elegance.
Re-read each sentence very slowly. You may need to re-read some sentences several times.
As you re-read, look for
1) comma and period problems,
2) fragments,
3) anything that might be confusing,
4) possible spelling problems,
5) clear transitions between sentences, chunks, and paragraphs,
6) dull words that could be replaced with FAST words,
7) lack of variety in sentence lengths,
8) and dull sections that could be helped by using some tools for adding elegance.
WRITNG LESSON: Capitalization Rules
The rules of capitalization are quite extensive and depend somewhat on the context in which the words are used.
However, here are the basic rules:
You should always capitalize….
• The first word of a sentence
• Names of the days of the week, months of the year (but not seasons)
• The pronoun I
• Names, including initials, of individuals
• Titles which precede names (but not titles without names)
• All names of holidays (excluding any prepositions)
• The first word and all nouns in a salutation ("Dear Mr. Geise")
• The first word in the complimentary closing of a letter ("Sincerely yours")
• Family relationship names when they precede a name or are used in place of person's name, especially in direct address ("Uncle John", but not in “my uncle came home”)
• All words in the names of specific organizations and agencies excluding prepositions, conjunctions, and articles ("the Pine Point Dance Ensemble")
• Names of languages
• Names of definite sections of a country or the world, but not names of directions ("I live in the Southwest, near Santa Fe"", but "We drove southwest from Providence.")
• Names of nationalities (French, Spanish, etc.)
• Names of religions and deities (Allah, Islam, God, etc.)
• Adjectives formed from names of geographical locations, languages, races, nationalities, and religions (a Catholic bookstore, Asian people, etc.)
• The first word and all the words in titles of books, articles, works of art, etc. excluding short prepositions, conjunctions, and articles
The rules of capitalization are quite extensive and depend somewhat on the context in which the words are used.
However, here are the basic rules:
You should always capitalize….
• The first word of a sentence
• Names of the days of the week, months of the year (but not seasons)
• The pronoun I
• Names, including initials, of individuals
• Titles which precede names (but not titles without names)
• All names of holidays (excluding any prepositions)
• The first word and all nouns in a salutation ("Dear Mr. Geise")
• The first word in the complimentary closing of a letter ("Sincerely yours")
• Family relationship names when they precede a name or are used in place of person's name, especially in direct address ("Uncle John", but not in “my uncle came home”)
• All words in the names of specific organizations and agencies excluding prepositions, conjunctions, and articles ("the Pine Point Dance Ensemble")
• Names of languages
• Names of definite sections of a country or the world, but not names of directions ("I live in the Southwest, near Santa Fe"", but "We drove southwest from Providence.")
• Names of nationalities (French, Spanish, etc.)
• Names of religions and deities (Allah, Islam, God, etc.)
• Adjectives formed from names of geographical locations, languages, races, nationalities, and religions (a Catholic bookstore, Asian people, etc.)
• The first word and all the words in titles of books, articles, works of art, etc. excluding short prepositions, conjunctions, and articles
WRITING LESSON: Punctuating Titles -- When to Use Italics, Underlining, and Quotation Marks.
It's easy for students to forget that different types of titles require different typographical features. It is even harder to remember which type of title requires which type of punctuation.
Despair not! If you remember these two handy
rules, you can keep the difference straight:
1) Short works and parts of long works are usually in quotation marks.
2) Long works and collections of short works are usually underlined or put in italics.
****************
1) "Title of a Short Poem."
Title of an Epic Poem or Book-Length Poem
Ex: "The Raven."
Ex: The Odyssey
2) "Title of a Short Story."
Title of a Novel
Ex: "Young Goodman Brown"
Ex: The Scarlet Letter
3) "Title of an Essay"
Title of a Collection or Anthology of Essays
Ex: "The Fiction of Langston Hughes"
Ex: Modern Writers and Their Readers
4) "Title of a Short Song"
Title of a CD, Cassette, or Album
Ex: "Money Talks"
Ex: The Razor's Edge, by AC/DC.
Also: Title of a Ballet or Opera
Ex: The Nutcracker Suite or Die Fliedermaus
Also: Title of Long Classical or Instrumental Compositions
Identified by Name, Rather than Number.
Ex: Wagner's The Flight of the Valkyries
5) "Title of a Skit or Monologue"
Title of a Play
Ex: "Madman's Lament"
Ex: The Importance of Being Ernest
6) "Short Commercial"
Title of a Film
"Obey Your Thirst."
Ex: Star Wars Episode II: Attack of the Clones
7) Title of "Individual Episode" in a
Title of a Television Series as a Whole
Television Series.
Ex: The Simpsons
"The Trouble With Tribbles"
Ex: Star Trek
8) "Title of a Chapter in a Book"
Title of a Complete Book
Ex: "Welsh Mountains"
Ex: A Guide to Welsh Geography
9) "Encyclopedia Article"
Title of Encyclopedia
Ex: "Etruscan"
Ex: Encyclopedia Brittanica
10) "Title of an Article in a Magazine"
Title of the Magazine.
Ex: "Training Your Toddler"
Ex: Parenting
11) "Title of an Article in a Newspaper"
Title of the Newspaper
Ex: "Man Kills Seven in Subway"
Ex: The New York Times
12) "One or Two Page Handout"
Pamphlet
Ex: "Old English Verbs: A One Page Guide"
Ex: The Coming Kingdom of God and the Millennium.
It's easy for students to forget that different types of titles require different typographical features. It is even harder to remember which type of title requires which type of punctuation.
Despair not! If you remember these two handy
rules, you can keep the difference straight:
1) Short works and parts of long works are usually in quotation marks.
2) Long works and collections of short works are usually underlined or put in italics.
****************
1) "Title of a Short Poem."
Title of an Epic Poem or Book-Length Poem
Ex: "The Raven."
Ex: The Odyssey
2) "Title of a Short Story."
Title of a Novel
Ex: "Young Goodman Brown"
Ex: The Scarlet Letter
3) "Title of an Essay"
Title of a Collection or Anthology of Essays
Ex: "The Fiction of Langston Hughes"
Ex: Modern Writers and Their Readers
4) "Title of a Short Song"
Title of a CD, Cassette, or Album
Ex: "Money Talks"
Ex: The Razor's Edge, by AC/DC.
Also: Title of a Ballet or Opera
Ex: The Nutcracker Suite or Die Fliedermaus
Also: Title of Long Classical or Instrumental Compositions
Identified by Name, Rather than Number.
Ex: Wagner's The Flight of the Valkyries
5) "Title of a Skit or Monologue"
Title of a Play
Ex: "Madman's Lament"
Ex: The Importance of Being Ernest
6) "Short Commercial"
Title of a Film
"Obey Your Thirst."
Ex: Star Wars Episode II: Attack of the Clones
7) Title of "Individual Episode" in a
Title of a Television Series as a Whole
Television Series.
Ex: The Simpsons
"The Trouble With Tribbles"
Ex: Star Trek
8) "Title of a Chapter in a Book"
Title of a Complete Book
Ex: "Welsh Mountains"
Ex: A Guide to Welsh Geography
9) "Encyclopedia Article"
Title of Encyclopedia
Ex: "Etruscan"
Ex: Encyclopedia Brittanica
10) "Title of an Article in a Magazine"
Title of the Magazine.
Ex: "Training Your Toddler"
Ex: Parenting
11) "Title of an Article in a Newspaper"
Title of the Newspaper
Ex: "Man Kills Seven in Subway"
Ex: The New York Times
12) "One or Two Page Handout"
Pamphlet
Ex: "Old English Verbs: A One Page Guide"
Ex: The Coming Kingdom of God and the Millennium.
WRITING LESSON : Punctuating Quotations
Quoted material that blends directly into your own prose and that cannot be mistaken for a complete sentence needs no extra punctuation mark (like an ellipsis):
* For Charles Dickens, the eighteenth century is both "the best of times" and "the worst of times"
When you use a phrase of attribution ("she said" or "John insisted on announcing" etc.), you need a colon or a comma after the phrase of attribution.
Use a colon before more formal independent clauses:
*In Shakespeare's Julius Caesar, Antony professes his respect for Brutus: "[t]his was the noblest Roman of them all" (5.5.74).
Use a comma before less formal statements or dependent clauses:
* Shakespeare's Antony notes, "[t]his was the noblest Roman of them all" (5.5.74).
If the phrase of attribution follows the quotation, use a comma unless the quotation ends with an exclamation point or a question mark:
* "She d[oes] so without the slightest hesitation," Dao recognizes in his daughter (Butler 58).
* "'Would you like me to clean it?'" his eldest daughter asks (Butler 58).
If you have omitted material from a quoted passage that appears to be a sentence or a series of sentences, use bracketed ellipsis with a space between each ellipsis [. . .] to indicate that your quotation does not completely reproduce the original:
If you quote only a word or a phrase, it will be obvious that you have left out some of the original sentence: do not use the ellipsis:
* Ralph and his cronies stand amidst the "burning wreckage" that is their inheritance, the home they have made for themselves (Golding 186).
If you wish to omit a word or words within a quoted sentence or phrase:
* "He g[ives] himself up to [. . .] great, shuddering spasms of grief that seem[] to wrench his whole body" (Golding 186).
If you wish to omit a word or words at the end of a quoted sentence or phrase before you move on to the next sentence in your quotation:
"The tears beg[i]n to flow [. . . ]. He g[ives] himself up to them now for the first time on the island; great, shuddering spasms of grief that seem[] to wrench his whole body" (Golding 186).
If you wish to omit a word or words at the end of a quoted sentence or phrase that ends your own sentence which you will follow with a parenthetical reference:
"And in the middle of them, with filthy body, matted hair, and unwiped nose, Ralph we[eps] for the end of innocence
[. . .]" (Golding 186).
If you wish to omit a word or words at the beginning of a quoted sentence or phrase:
"[. . .] [I]nfected by that emotion, the other little boys beg[i]n to shake and sob too" (Golding 186).
If you wish to alter quoted material in order to integrate it more smoothly into your own prose, use brackets to indicate the alteration (additional, clarifying information; change pronouns; change capitalization; change verb tense or number; etc.—not to add a period or comma):
* "Though [he is] loath to grieve / [t]he evil time's sole patriot," Emerson cannot neglect his elegiatic duty (1-2).
* On the day Lady dies, O'Hara's speaker stumbles about downtown New York in a parody of routine: he "get[s] a shoeshine" (3), does some shopping, and prepares to meet "the people who will feed [him]" (6).
If you quote two or more lines of verse, you must use a slash, with a space on each side, to indicate a line break:
* "Longing, we say, because desire is full / of endless distances" (Hass 24-25).
The comma and period always go inside the closing quotation mark when there is no parenthetical reference.
* "Really, there is no excuse for aggressive behavior," Billy said. "It sets a bad example."
The comma and period always go inside a quotation within another quotation when there is no parenthetical reference.
According to the film critic, "One of the most widely acclaimed actors in history, Humphrey Bogart, is quoted as saying, 'I don't like acting.'"
The period goes outside of the quotation mark when using a parenthetical reference.
"Animals have a variety of emotions similar to human's" (Erikson 990).
The colon and semicolon always go outside the closing quotation mark.
Nancy referred to this group of people as her "gang": Danica, Tess, Emily, and Josh.
Marx did not believe that "a single nation should have a single leader"; nevertheless, he became a leader singled out.
Place an exclamation point or a question mark inside
quotation marks when it punctuates the quotation, and outside when it punctuates the main sentence:
"Am I dreaming?"
Had she heard him say, "Here's the key to your new car"?
Quoted material that blends directly into your own prose and that cannot be mistaken for a complete sentence needs no extra punctuation mark (like an ellipsis):
* For Charles Dickens, the eighteenth century is both "the best of times" and "the worst of times"
When you use a phrase of attribution ("she said" or "John insisted on announcing" etc.), you need a colon or a comma after the phrase of attribution.
Use a colon before more formal independent clauses:
*In Shakespeare's Julius Caesar, Antony professes his respect for Brutus: "[t]his was the noblest Roman of them all" (5.5.74).
Use a comma before less formal statements or dependent clauses:
* Shakespeare's Antony notes, "[t]his was the noblest Roman of them all" (5.5.74).
If the phrase of attribution follows the quotation, use a comma unless the quotation ends with an exclamation point or a question mark:
* "She d[oes] so without the slightest hesitation," Dao recognizes in his daughter (Butler 58).
* "'Would you like me to clean it?'" his eldest daughter asks (Butler 58).
If you have omitted material from a quoted passage that appears to be a sentence or a series of sentences, use bracketed ellipsis with a space between each ellipsis [. . .] to indicate that your quotation does not completely reproduce the original:
If you quote only a word or a phrase, it will be obvious that you have left out some of the original sentence: do not use the ellipsis:
* Ralph and his cronies stand amidst the "burning wreckage" that is their inheritance, the home they have made for themselves (Golding 186).
If you wish to omit a word or words within a quoted sentence or phrase:
* "He g[ives] himself up to [. . .] great, shuddering spasms of grief that seem[] to wrench his whole body" (Golding 186).
If you wish to omit a word or words at the end of a quoted sentence or phrase before you move on to the next sentence in your quotation:
"The tears beg[i]n to flow [. . . ]. He g[ives] himself up to them now for the first time on the island; great, shuddering spasms of grief that seem[] to wrench his whole body" (Golding 186).
If you wish to omit a word or words at the end of a quoted sentence or phrase that ends your own sentence which you will follow with a parenthetical reference:
"And in the middle of them, with filthy body, matted hair, and unwiped nose, Ralph we[eps] for the end of innocence
[. . .]" (Golding 186).
If you wish to omit a word or words at the beginning of a quoted sentence or phrase:
"[. . .] [I]nfected by that emotion, the other little boys beg[i]n to shake and sob too" (Golding 186).
If you wish to alter quoted material in order to integrate it more smoothly into your own prose, use brackets to indicate the alteration (additional, clarifying information; change pronouns; change capitalization; change verb tense or number; etc.—not to add a period or comma):
* "Though [he is] loath to grieve / [t]he evil time's sole patriot," Emerson cannot neglect his elegiatic duty (1-2).
* On the day Lady dies, O'Hara's speaker stumbles about downtown New York in a parody of routine: he "get[s] a shoeshine" (3), does some shopping, and prepares to meet "the people who will feed [him]" (6).
If you quote two or more lines of verse, you must use a slash, with a space on each side, to indicate a line break:
* "Longing, we say, because desire is full / of endless distances" (Hass 24-25).
The comma and period always go inside the closing quotation mark when there is no parenthetical reference.
* "Really, there is no excuse for aggressive behavior," Billy said. "It sets a bad example."
The comma and period always go inside a quotation within another quotation when there is no parenthetical reference.
According to the film critic, "One of the most widely acclaimed actors in history, Humphrey Bogart, is quoted as saying, 'I don't like acting.'"
The period goes outside of the quotation mark when using a parenthetical reference.
"Animals have a variety of emotions similar to human's" (Erikson 990).
The colon and semicolon always go outside the closing quotation mark.
Nancy referred to this group of people as her "gang": Danica, Tess, Emily, and Josh.
Marx did not believe that "a single nation should have a single leader"; nevertheless, he became a leader singled out.
Place an exclamation point or a question mark inside
quotation marks when it punctuates the quotation, and outside when it punctuates the main sentence:
"Am I dreaming?"
Had she heard him say, "Here's the key to your new car"?
WRITING LESSON: Making Your Writing More Economical by Not Using (or Spending) Words Carelessly
Making your writing economical means cutting unnecessary words, all those that don't contribute to your message. Inexperienced writers often use far more words than necessary. They don't attach enough value to individual words, so they just sort of scatter them around in their paragraphs and essays. As a result, the writing appears cluttered. The central ideas are hard to focus on because unimportant words get in the way.
Let's look at an example:
All my intentions were to experience prison from the inside looking out and not from the outside looking in. I knew if I played my cards right and if the opportunity presented itself I wouldn't hesitate or be afraid to experience a short period behind bars, walls, fences, or prison for that matter in order to get an insider's view.
The idea here is interesting, but obscured by clutter. We could easily cut some excess. Maybe a little meaning is lost, but nothing crucial, and notice how much more smoothly it reads:
My intentions were to experience prison from the inside, and I wasn't afraid to spend a short period behinds bars to get an insider's view.
And we could tighten it even more:
I wasn't afraid to spend a short time behind bars just for the experience.
The sixty-one words in the first version have been cut to fourteen! Of course, not all writing can be tightened this much, but most early drafts profit by being trimmed to the essentials. Not only does the meaning become clearer, the writing gets easier to read, more vivid and lively. As a hidden bonus, many grammatical problems eliminate themselves during tightening, since they're as often caused by clutter as by broken rules.
One way to tighten is to join several short sentences into a longer one:
I have always had this one dream. My dream has been to be a famous writer. Everyone would read my books. I would become very wealthy.
This could all be made into one sentence:
I have always dreamed of being a wealthy, famous writer, read by everyone.
Besides cutting five words, we've eliminated the choppy rhythm, creating a more fluid and mature sentence.
Tightening isn't hard, although there is a kind of knack to it, and a person gets better with practice.
The following suggestions may help:
* Look for words that don't do their share of work:
Change: There's a light on the scoreboard that flashes on and off.
to: The scoreboard light flashes on and off.
* Use strong verbs:
Change: In a cautious manner the car went around the corner.
to: The car negotiated the corner.
* Don't pile up modifiers in front of nouns:
Change: He was a weak, timid, scared sort of individual.
to: He was a mouse.
* Make the agent (the person doing the action) the subject of the sentence:
Change: The report was read to us by Mr. Coleman. (Mr. Coleman does the action.)
to: Mr. Coleman read us the report.
Note: This is called changing from passive to active voice.
* Keep it clear and simple:
Change: Bluegrass music might be said to have certain qualities which render it in a disagreeable light to a clear majority of my peers.
to: Most of my friends don't like bluegrass music.
* Try combining several short sentences into a longer one:
Change: I have this beautiful watch. It is silver. It was given to me by my father. He gave it to me last year.
to: Last year my father gave me this beautiful silver watch.
* Get rid of weak words.
The following list contains weak words that can often be changed to stronger ones. Search for these words in your writing and try to use a different word, or perhaps rewrite the sentence in a different way.
Of course, there are certain situations in writing where these words would be appropriate and necessary. But usually they are weak and should be replaced.
The aim in every case is to make your writing smoother and vivid, more expressive of your meaning. In fact, that's the aim of revision in general: to make every word work.
Practice:
Tighten the following sentences. As you do, remember that any of several possibilities may work well. Sometimes you will find that many words can be cut out, other times only a few.
a. Several unnecessary words can be cut here. They can be cut by combining the two sentences together into one single sentence.
b. My last English teacher was much younger than my present English teacher. His hair had turned mostly gray, but it still had some black flecks left in it.
c. We are going to North Carolina and West Virginia. Both of these are very beautiful states located in the southeastern portion of the country.
d. If a person looking for a job has a good physical appearance, a job in general will be easier to find. This is because an employer wants a person who is neat looking in appearance.
e. Well, it seems I kind of got off the track of what I was intending to write about, but I don't really much care.
f. Regular gasoline is what is needed to make my car run. This fact makes my car an economical car, so practical and inexpensive at this time of rising prices and inflation.
g. It even seems as though these two specimens could possibly be of the same species because of the color coordination and also because of how the shapes are similar.
h. Because of the great amount of people in such a small area, there is of course a high amount of crime in this same area.
i. In the fall of the year is the time when Jim likes to go hunting for elk. It is during that season that Jim heads off into the woods armed with his gun and his camera. In many cases Jim's camera gets more use than his gun does.
Making your writing economical means cutting unnecessary words, all those that don't contribute to your message. Inexperienced writers often use far more words than necessary. They don't attach enough value to individual words, so they just sort of scatter them around in their paragraphs and essays. As a result, the writing appears cluttered. The central ideas are hard to focus on because unimportant words get in the way.
Let's look at an example:
All my intentions were to experience prison from the inside looking out and not from the outside looking in. I knew if I played my cards right and if the opportunity presented itself I wouldn't hesitate or be afraid to experience a short period behind bars, walls, fences, or prison for that matter in order to get an insider's view.
The idea here is interesting, but obscured by clutter. We could easily cut some excess. Maybe a little meaning is lost, but nothing crucial, and notice how much more smoothly it reads:
My intentions were to experience prison from the inside, and I wasn't afraid to spend a short period behinds bars to get an insider's view.
And we could tighten it even more:
I wasn't afraid to spend a short time behind bars just for the experience.
The sixty-one words in the first version have been cut to fourteen! Of course, not all writing can be tightened this much, but most early drafts profit by being trimmed to the essentials. Not only does the meaning become clearer, the writing gets easier to read, more vivid and lively. As a hidden bonus, many grammatical problems eliminate themselves during tightening, since they're as often caused by clutter as by broken rules.
One way to tighten is to join several short sentences into a longer one:
I have always had this one dream. My dream has been to be a famous writer. Everyone would read my books. I would become very wealthy.
This could all be made into one sentence:
I have always dreamed of being a wealthy, famous writer, read by everyone.
Besides cutting five words, we've eliminated the choppy rhythm, creating a more fluid and mature sentence.
Tightening isn't hard, although there is a kind of knack to it, and a person gets better with practice.
The following suggestions may help:
* Look for words that don't do their share of work:
Change: There's a light on the scoreboard that flashes on and off.
to: The scoreboard light flashes on and off.
* Use strong verbs:
Change: In a cautious manner the car went around the corner.
to: The car negotiated the corner.
* Don't pile up modifiers in front of nouns:
Change: He was a weak, timid, scared sort of individual.
to: He was a mouse.
* Make the agent (the person doing the action) the subject of the sentence:
Change: The report was read to us by Mr. Coleman. (Mr. Coleman does the action.)
to: Mr. Coleman read us the report.
Note: This is called changing from passive to active voice.
* Keep it clear and simple:
Change: Bluegrass music might be said to have certain qualities which render it in a disagreeable light to a clear majority of my peers.
to: Most of my friends don't like bluegrass music.
* Try combining several short sentences into a longer one:
Change: I have this beautiful watch. It is silver. It was given to me by my father. He gave it to me last year.
to: Last year my father gave me this beautiful silver watch.
* Get rid of weak words.
The following list contains weak words that can often be changed to stronger ones. Search for these words in your writing and try to use a different word, or perhaps rewrite the sentence in a different way.
DEFINITION: WEAK WORDS
The following words are very weak, and should rarely be used:
somewhat, perhaps, nearly, very, only, just, a bit, a little, suddenly, almost, should, would, could, feel/felt, begin/began, rather, few, seem, appear, quite, really, always, awesome, very, cool, great, good, sweet, totally, absolutely, well, basically, fairly, kind of, pretty, sort of, truly, utterly
The following words are very weak, and should rarely be used:
somewhat, perhaps, nearly, very, only, just, a bit, a little, suddenly, almost, should, would, could, feel/felt, begin/began, rather, few, seem, appear, quite, really, always, awesome, very, cool, great, good, sweet, totally, absolutely, well, basically, fairly, kind of, pretty, sort of, truly, utterly
Of course, there are certain situations in writing where these words would be appropriate and necessary. But usually they are weak and should be replaced.
The aim in every case is to make your writing smoother and vivid, more expressive of your meaning. In fact, that's the aim of revision in general: to make every word work.
Practice:
Tighten the following sentences. As you do, remember that any of several possibilities may work well. Sometimes you will find that many words can be cut out, other times only a few.
a. Several unnecessary words can be cut here. They can be cut by combining the two sentences together into one single sentence.
b. My last English teacher was much younger than my present English teacher. His hair had turned mostly gray, but it still had some black flecks left in it.
c. We are going to North Carolina and West Virginia. Both of these are very beautiful states located in the southeastern portion of the country.
d. If a person looking for a job has a good physical appearance, a job in general will be easier to find. This is because an employer wants a person who is neat looking in appearance.
e. Well, it seems I kind of got off the track of what I was intending to write about, but I don't really much care.
f. Regular gasoline is what is needed to make my car run. This fact makes my car an economical car, so practical and inexpensive at this time of rising prices and inflation.
g. It even seems as though these two specimens could possibly be of the same species because of the color coordination and also because of how the shapes are similar.
h. Because of the great amount of people in such a small area, there is of course a high amount of crime in this same area.
i. In the fall of the year is the time when Jim likes to go hunting for elk. It is during that season that Jim heads off into the woods armed with his gun and his camera. In many cases Jim's camera gets more use than his gun does.
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